Good but exasperating update on Leaky aka my breast cancer concern

I’ll start with the punchline first – even after the results of an MRI, I still don’t have a frelling clue as to why Leaky is leaking. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way (and technically, that could be my shortest Microblog Monday post ever), here are the specifics –

“You spin me right round, baby, right round.”

As I mentioned in an earlier post, when my needle biopsy was done, I had a moment of ridiculous bed spins, and attributed it to a newly raised dosage of my antidepressant. However, that nasty little dizziness didn’t go away even after I dropped my dosage back down. By last Monday, I was feeling a bit desperate. I considered the possibility that my seasonal allergies, combined with a bunch of house cleaning/dust raising (have I mentioned how much I love hubby & our kidlets?) may have triggered an ear infection. All I know is that the majority of the time, it seemed like I could feel the world spinning.

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“Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take?”

After a scary moment of laying down on my right side (which is where my sinus issues usually hit – I mean, not my side, of course, but the right side of my head) and having the world flip upside down (to the point that I thought, “this must be what my Australian friend Sherrie feels like all the time” *grin*) I decided it was time to call my primary care provider. Seriously, for a solid 30 seconds (until I sat up), I felt like my eyes were possessed. Both of them were doing something like this –

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I called and told them I wanted to be checked for an ear infection, since I’d also been running a low grade (never higher than 99F/37.2C) since this whole thing started. I’d been thinking it was just one long hot flash, but I was beginning to have doubts.

“You down with B.P.P.V.? (Yeah, you know me)”

First thing the next morning we headed to the doctor’s office. After another appointment where I spent the entire time in tears while laughing about how I couldn’t stop crying a short exam, my PC determined it wasn’t an ear infection. My official diagnosis – Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo, which occurred when I sat up abruptly on the exam table before my biopsy.

Of course, my PC described it as (paraphrasing here) “there are tiny little stones in your inner ear that can get knocked out of place by sudden movement.”

I immediately looked at my husband, who’d already bestowed upon me the adorable nickname, “drunken sailor” any time I stumbled walked across the room, and said, “don’t you dare say anything!” He just smiled.

My PC said a trip to the chiropractor for something called, “The Epley Maneuver” would help, so we headed home and I made an appointment for the next day.

After a relatively uneventful chiro visit, during which I absolutely did not get dizzy as he lowered me to the table, or grab his leg in a panicked moment of my brain telling me I was falling, and most definitely didn’t cringe as I wondered where exactly I grabbed, I noticed a vast improvement in my equilibrium. Good timing too, since bright and early Thursday we headed to the hospital to have my MRI done. Oh, and I feel I should mention that because of the requirement that my pants be free of metal, I decided to wear my Boston Celtics pjs (similar to these) – figured a little luck of the Irish couldn’t hurt!

“Talkin’ about the car wash, yeah!”

A short time after arriving, hubby & I were escorted to a lovely “lounge” room, where my poor tired guy immediately kicked back in one of the hospital recliners so he could elevate his fractured left ankle (speaking of, he’s graduated from a compression boot to a walking cast – hurray!). My wicked awesome nurse then got me set up with a pair of gowns (one to open in front, and the other to open in back to make sure I didn’t flash people in the all on my way to the machine), started an IV line for the contrast dye, then she & I headed off.

I took off my modesty-saving gown (and honestly, after nursing three babies, it doesn’t phase me in the slightest if my girls run free) and somehow my awesome nurse managed to get me to lay face down on the table while keeping my needle-stuck arm flat out, and whilst maneuvering my breasts through the openings at the top. She set me up with some headphones, and asked what I’d like for music. I told her I typically listened to the Staind Spotify station, then assumed her overly-cheery, “that sounds great!” wasn’t exactly truthful (but I appreciated she at least tried). I said piano music, ala George Winston, would also be acceptable.

Not that it mattered. The table was pulled, with my feet going in first, into the big machine, which felt oddly like going through a car wash (and yes, I asked the nurse for extra wax, which cracked her up). Then the noise drowned out everything. Seriously, “resonance” is a bit of a misnomer – more like, Magnetic REALLYBONESHAKINGLYLOUD Imaging. A half hour later, we headed home to wait some more, since I wouldn’t get the results until my followup with the general surgeon later today.

“You got me losing my mind.”

However, Friday afternoon I got a voicemail on my cell from my PC saying (again, paraphrasing) “Just got the results back from your scan, and as they probably already told you during the exam, it’s normal and doesn’t show any areas of concern. Please call us back if you have any questions.”

Questions? Do I have any questions? Where the hezmana do I start? My head is spinning again, but this time, I can’t blame vertigo. My guess, based on my last appointment with the surgeon, is the next step is some kind of surgical diagnostic thingy. I’ll find out more later this afternoon – in the meantime, if anyone asks…

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