I wicked love the Patriots. Love, love, LOVE the Patriots. And not just because it’s required by law for us New Englandahs, either. Given that there is currently a reGRONKulous amount of Pat Hate going on, I figured it was a great time to declare my affections.
The upside to the gnashing of teeth is the amusing responses on the interwebs. Here are some of my faves so far –
10 Times The New England Patriots Were Cheaters
I’ve only included five here – check out the rest, and the accompanying animated gifs, at the link above.
2. They built their stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts, which is a suburb that’s 45 minutes from Boston.
Nothing says “we have nothing to hide” like building a massive football stadium constantly cloaked in snow in the middle of nowhere with only one route to get in or out. Check “yes” for cheating.
4. They bet on themselves to lose to the Jets in 2010 then used the money four years later to sign Darrelle Revis.
There’s no other explanation for that loss. Everyone knows if you want to throw a game and make it believable then you don’t do it against the Jets. Such obvious cheating.
6. Vince Wilfork interceptions.
Listed at 6-foot-2 and 325 pounds, Wilfork has not just one but three career interceptions. That’s not a thing. Guess I’ll be the one to say it: trampolines underneath the turf. #TurfGate
8. Somehow Rob Gronkowski is their tight end.
By “Rob Gronkowski” I mean “an illegal football robot” and by “somehow” I mean “created in a lab.” It’s so obvious.
10. They pretended Julian Edelman was a wide receiver for six seasons.
I’m sorry, but it’s pretty deceptive to act like he was a wide receiver for that long just so that you could win a playoff game. He’s clearly the second best QB in the AFC East.
Then there’s the first meme, posted by Gronk himself –
Whoops lol pic.twitter.com/uLxN7A5cpq
— Rob Gronkowski (@RobGronkowski) January 20, 2015
This. Is. LOL.
Source of the #DeflateGate allegations pic.twitter.com/AadzexKjbL
— Jerry Thornton (@jerrythornton1) January 19, 2015
This take on the controversy is pretty… hellacious –
NFL Investigating Claims That Belichick Used Black Magic In Win Over Colts
Dwayne Allen (Colts tight end) is a class act –
https://twitter.com/Dallen83/status/557793603700154369
My take on a couple of memes I saw floating around –
I leave you with the inestimable Mr Edelman, who posted the best non-response to the whole, silly thing.
GO PATS!